Why is it that people enjoy saying things they don't mean?  Or maybe they mean the words but don't know how to follow through with what they say.  Why do people think that saying words without actions makes people feel loved and cared for?  Friends are people who enjoy spending time together, talking on the phone, sharing life with each other (the good and the bad).  Friendship is reciprocal---if your friends have fallen away, maybe they didn't feel like you were playing a role in your friendship.  Maybe they felt you were hiding something---the truth, maybe? Or hiding something you feel may hurt them?  Let your friend be that judge and be honest with those you say you care for---those you say mean something to you! I don't understand why some people can toss words around instead of taking responsibility---words don't take the place of friendship!  Be there for those you love---they won't be there forever and you'll miss them terribly when they are gone!

Over the past couple of weeks I have been on an amazing journey, an "Adventure" if you will, through the life of Paige.  It has definitely NOT been an easy road, and one many people choose not to go down.  This Adventure may take me months, maybe years, to complete but the end result is what I am anxious to discover.  I will try to write as often as possible to not only share my Adventure with everyone else, but to express the importance of truly knowing yourself--the past that molded who you are today, the present that can often be stagnate and all the things your purpose today can do for your future tomorrow.

I'll begin by saying I am quite introspective, but also analytical.  I analyze everyone's actions and try to discover the motives behind them.  Often, concerning others' actions, I am wrong.  Still, my overanalyzing (or analyzing at all) hinders me from fully seeing myself the way Christ sees me.  So, by seeing patterns in my thoughts about myself (when the negative things come up and when I doubt myself) I have learned that I #1) Don't truly know I am and/or #2) Don't truly accept the person I know I am.  Either way, this hinders just how much of myself I allow others to see.  Here's where my introspection fails me.  I look into my life and don't see the potential, but the failures and shortcomings.  I can't see the person I am in Christ because I am still struck down by the person I was before Christ.  Before Christ, for me, was waaay too long ago to still be hindered by.  I'm not only talking about past sin, but things I believed (lies or untruths) as a child that Christ's view of me should have over-powered, but I didn't know how to let it. Make sense?  Basically, the lies/untruths/sin kept me from completely looking at myself in order to allow Christ to fulfill me.  It is written that: He who began a good work in me will perfect it until the day of Christ. Phil. 1:6 (the superPAIGEs version). So I needed some assistance through friends to act like a guide in order to navigate me through myself.  (Sounds corny, but it's awesome!)

First, I'll apologize if I revealed something about myself in a false manner as well as apologize for hiding parts of myself with you all in the past.  It was never my intention.  For all I knew, I was laying it all out.  However, there is more to me that what you all know and it's my goal to reveal myself to you as I encounter myself along the road I am on.  Don't expect me to reveal it all in writing, either.  I think you will all have an opportunity to see me as I am, as I was created to be, in the coming months as we share life together @ church, in the community, or online.

Why did I begin walking what would be a long, difficult and possibly painful road?  Well, I was exhausted, worn-out and stuck.  I was stuck in a pattern of thought that was destroying me.  I was exhausted by trying to be everything and do anything for those around me.  I came to realize I was allowing people in my life to take advantage of my good nature and willing spirit. I was worn-out by loving people no matter the cost (financial, mental, physical) and without taking care of myself in order to be capable of loving others.   

When I began my Adventure, what did I desire to learn about myself?  What did I want to get out of this road I was traveling down?  Well, I sought healing - true healing that repairs the damage.  Healing where the scars remind me of all I have experienced and how that has helped create who I am today without the eruption of painful, stifling memories.  I wanted to learn that the person I am, the person I (and Jesus) love, can be the same person everyone else sees (and loves) as well.  I wanted to stop allowing past experiences to affect my present relationships with friends and family.  I wanted to be more trusting and less critical---more free and less cautious.  So far on my road, you know what I have found?

ALL OF THAT (and more)!!!